A ‘disadvantage’ of the other party…but ‘this’ that neither men nor women care about when remarrying?
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Divorcees who hope to remarry have identified ‘lack of education’ as a disadvantage that does not significantly impact their chances of remarriage, a stark contrast to their first marriages.
A survey was conducted by remarriage information company Only-You in collaboration with marriage information company Bienarae (CEO Son Dong-gyu) from the 20th to the 25th of last month. The survey targeted 516 divorcees (258 men and 258 women) nationwide through email and phone calls. When asked, “What factors that were disadvantages in your first marriage do not significantly impact your remarriage?” both men and women cited ‘lack of education (men 32.6%, women 30.5%)’ and ‘poor family environment (men 27.1%, women 25.6%)’ as the top two factors.
The third and subsequent factors for men were ‘being single (21.7%)’ and ‘being the eldest son (12.0%)’, while women pointed out ‘free-spirited personality (19.8%)’ and ‘being single (16.7%)’.
An Only-You representative explained, “When choosing a spouse for the first marriage, factors such as the partner’s education, family environment, and other aspects of their upbringing and background are emphasized. However, in the case of remarriage, more emphasis is placed on how much the individual is currently demonstrating their abilities and how they are living their life, rather than these factors (education, family environment, etc.).”
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As barriers to remarriage, men cited ‘money obsession’, while women pointed to ‘appearance-oriented trends’.
When asked, “What do you consider to be an insurmountable obstacle in the remarriage market?” one out of three male respondents (33.3%) answered ‘money obsession’, while 34.1% of female respondents answered ‘appearance-oriented trends’, each taking the highest proportion. Following this, men cited ‘nitpicking (24.4%)’, ‘sensitivity to physical touch (18.6%)’, and ‘aversion to raising children (16.7%)’, in that order. Women ranked ‘aversion to raising children’ second with 28.3%, followed by ‘nitpicking (20.1%)’ and ‘money obsession (13.2%)’.
Son Dong-gyu, CEO of Only-You, explained, “In their first marriages, most women choose their spouses based on potential, but in remarriages, they tend to focus on current assets and income, which can be a burden for men. As of 2022, the average age of divorced women is 46.6, so it’s not easy for them to maintain their youthful appearance. Many men prioritize appearance in the remarriage market, making it difficult for women to gain favor.”
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When asked, “What is your advantage that unexpectedly exerts influence in the remarriage market compared to your first marriage?” the highest proportion of men, at 28.7%, answered ‘pension or other fixed income in old age’. This was followed by ‘no children (24.0%)’, ‘consistent self-care (18.2%)’, and ‘healthy lifestyle (14.8%)’. Among women, 30.2% cited ‘youthful appearance’ as their top advantage, followed by ‘healthy lifestyle (22.5%)’, ‘pension or other fixed income in old age (18.2%)’, and ‘no children (16.3%)’.
Lee Kyung, the general manager of Bienarae, pointed out, “As life expectancy increases, women hoping to remarry consider whether their potential partner has a fixed income in old age, such as a pension or rental and financial income. During their first marriages, men don’t pay much attention to whether they appear young or old because they are relatively young. But in the remarriage market, having a youthful appearance can significantly increase a woman’s appeal.”
Finally, Son Dong-gyu, CEO of Only-You, advised, “As of 2022, the average duration of marriage for divorced couples is 17.0 years, so there is a significant time gap between the first marriage and remarriage. It’s highly likely that your situation or the circumstances around you have changed dramatically since your first marriage, so it’s important to carefully consider these changes when planning to remarry to avoid any difficulties.”
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